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Indris
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For Chogan and Taigi—following Indy’s meeting with the new pups. This is an odd thread because it’s going on eleven thirty and my brain’s shutting down, heh.
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Elated as he felt, Indris knew these pups would bring trouble. Not that they themselves appeared likely to go about having rows and stirring up mischief just yet—they weren’t even born yesterday, for Chrissake—but indirectly, oh indirectly, those three bundles of near-hairless joy and wonder were about to land the Strawberry Fields in some serious she-ight. Took a bit of the bounce of his step, that thought did. Took a bit of the bounce right out of it.
Trotting from the Roux-Abhren dwelling to his own meager abode was no great feat. Indris had found himself and the boys a cozy nook just southeast of the Alpha’s place, in the hollow of a hillside where someone had previously dug out a little room only to abandon it some moons before the Flood brought Gold Moon’s original homies moaned and groaned their way down into the strawberry-splotched fairyland that was the Fields. Indris paused for a moment to consider his train of thought, thoroughly perplexed by its suddenly ironic and careless tone. Instead of taking this jaunt into farce as a sign that he was coming down with something (which he was, bet your last Cindy Lauper CD or little jar of dirt on it), Indris simply excused it as a bit of aftershock from the joy of the birthing and went on his merry little way. Before the den was firmly in his line of sight, and the Beta’s though shifted from his state of mind to that of the disinherited princes.
Before that transition fully took place, however, the blue-eyed Lonán wolf took a moment to admire their home. Nice sandy threshold, tuft of grass just overshadowing the eaves of the ceiling (which dust no longer fell from in little showers like it had during the first week of inhabitance), smooth door with the slightly sloped corridor that led into the main room… There were two side rooms—editions the foster-fa would be have proud to call his handiwork—for the boys, though originally they’d been full of cached meat and extra bedding. The room on the right led out to an escape tunnel in case of emergencies (wasn’t he just a clever devil for thinking that one up?) Already the darkened male considered starting a third room, though his mind kept its purposes firmly shrouded in the darkest corners of his mind. At the notion of dark corners Indris pulled up a mental image of Vrash, hackling as he recalled all the male had done for him not too long ago. Must talk with him…the post-teenager whined to himself, but just then he spotted movement near the densite and his thoughts ground to a halt.
The boys were home. He was home. Let the confrontation begin.
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This post has been edited by Indris on Sep. 07, 2006 - 4:38pm
woovis=teh bestest.
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Chogan
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Really sorry about this. :/ I don’t think Sarah will be replying to any threads for a while, she’s on absence. So perhaps we ought to just post until she decides (if she decides) to hop in.
Chogan hadn’t been sulking in the privacy of his home for very long when Indris chose to make an appearance, the effects that too much fussing over newborns can have on a wolf - inexperienced males in particular – painted thick and bright on his face. The adoptive son – 50% of the whole package – lay stretched out on the den’s earthen floor, limbs arranged in a long abandoned fashion he now found he missed. It was rather more difficult now, he noticed, struggling to lay flat on his belly, hind legs stretched out behind him as though he’d been shot and left to hang by the ankles until his meat matured. Now and then, a sudden crap would wring his tissues like a damp cloth, jolting the youth to his feet. Each time he would sink back into the same position and wait for it to resurface, noting how the gap between the agonizing spasms seemed to increase, like labour in reverse. A charcoal nose, dry and dustier with each breath the Saqui-Citlali child forced out, poked over the edge of den’s gaping mouth, badly disguised as a pebble.
He missed his parents. Watching the three newcomers nuzzle up against their mother’s belly, squirming and whining whilst a proud father rushed around to greet the horde of well-wishers had cancelled out the deep-rooted feelings of resentment that gave the ache in his heart a bearable quality. Now he just felt loss. Golden eyes, dead to the world and paler than usual, followed Indris’ steady progress towards the Beta residence. The movement he saw was a listless attempt on Chogan’s part to welcome his guardian home, but his tail fell slack against the floor after merely two attempts, like a living body turned corpse in the split second it took to fire a gun.
”’lo, Nindie,” he croaked, putting the strained quality to his voice down to fact that his pharynx had been sandwiched between the gravity and the ground and ignoring the thick, painful lump that was clogging his throat, working its way upwards like water through the vacuum centre of a plant’s stem. The feeling intensified tenfold when he added in a near whisper: ”They’s cute.”
JANUARY WLC START: 307
STRAWBERRY FIELDS MOTM SET BY MEHITABEL <3
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Indris
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Sounds like a plan. <3 I’m just glad you could reply, as always. Forgive the mild powerplay. =)
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As Indris neared the home he shared with two angst-y young wolves, he picked the shape of a child’s nose out of the dusty darkness, recognizing Chogan even before the boy’s well-known scent caught a handy air current and waltzed past the threshold of his nostrils. He watched with growing sorrow as the boy’s pallid eyes turned on him and he attempted a weak homecoming gesture. While another adult might have feared sickness had wormed its way into the teen’s system, Indris knew better—his foster son was depressed. His pace slowed, turning to a heavy-pawed lope before the Beta dropped to his belly and nuzzled his boy’s dusted cheek, crooning softly in his throat. “Hey, kid.” And somehow he managed a crooked grin, though his eyes shone with near-painful recognition of the half-grown wolf’s loss. Some things never leave you.
“Of course they are,” he agreed quietly, needing no clarification as to their topic of discussion. “But,” the blackened canine went on, getting to his paws. “Well… here—scoot ove a sec, would you?” As the youth obliged Indy turned and squeezed down into the den next to him, wondering whether it was too early yet to throw a paw over Chogan’s shoulders and pull him close. Choosing to wait before showering the boy in potentially-useless affection, he picked up his train of thought, looking Midas’ tawny progeny in the eye. “But they’re not mine. You are, Chogan—you and Taigi.” Promise me neither of you will ever forget it, he thought. “And nobody’s going to forget about you just because the pups were born.”
Indris sighed, trying to find the right words to say. Wasn’t there a script for this sort of thing? Hadn’t he seen an episode like this on 7th Heaven? Okay, forget that. “Listen—I know you miss ‘em. I might even know how you feel.” Chogan knew the story of how Indy’s adopted parents lived on the Mountain with their blood-children. But it wouldn’t hurt to mention that “I never really knew my birth-parents, you know. I left them, so it wasn’t quite the same, but… I came out alright, didn’t I?” Weak joke, he knew. And the punchline—yours truly—had yet to proven. But it was worth a try. “What I’m trying to say is, I know it hurts. It’s always going to, in one way or another. The pain reminds you that you loved them. But you and Taigi have got to do the best you can without them.” You’ll have to do the best you can with me.
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woovis=teh bestest.
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Taigi
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Sorry for the delay, you both know why, I think. We will not lose Taigi! I might some times like this, but you won't, ever - promise! And sorry, this is crap because it's late and I've unwillingly posted X times today and still one to go after this. This is pre-sick Taigi.
EDIT: Ugh, didn't mean for it to be this long, sorry.
i am small
and the world is
big all around me
is fast moving
Taigi had been laying in the den all morning, doing nothing in particular except wallow in his own new found misery. he'd been feeling better about things, but lately his broken right fore-paw had been throbbing more then usual, then his head - then the dizziness. He had not mentioned it though, just lying there, licking his paw in silence. He lied with Chogan, taking half of his depression and sharing it through a silent understanding until the older brother left the den for what he had supposed was some air. Chogan was gone longer then expected, though, and when he returned, his face was even graver then before.
The Gamma pup didn't know where he had been, but surely he had picked up some bad news. Taigi didn't ask - if his brother needed to tell him, he would. So the day dragged on in a lithe, depressing manner that only helped to worsen the fouls moods of the brothers. For the first day in his whole life, the six-month old was anything but restless. He just wanted to lay there, and lay there, and lay there until there was nothing left of him but a wasted, numb figure. At least he wouldn't have to remember, or try to forget, or feel anymore mental and phsyical pain. What a beautiful life that would be. Strange and unnerving that one so young collected those thoughts as he wasted a day of his life, but he couldn't bring himself to put on a new record, listen to a new beat.
Maybe it was for the best. Maybe this day would be out of the way soon enough and tomorrow would bring happiness and vitality once again... although this unknown sickness that would soon drag Taigi down further in one strike was bound to prevent his hopes. At least the sickness would carry with it delirium, so in a sense, he would get his one wish of a time without rememberance, or the frequent pang to forget. His thoughts continued like a dull drum beat while Chogan got up and made his way to the mouth of the den, where he wagged his tail once in recognition. The scent came soon enough and Indris entered the den. "They're cute." Chogan commented. Who? What on earth was Chgoan talking about?
Indris replied with a sentence involving Taigi's name, but he made no effort to get up. Instead, he just took his lifeless emerald eyes to meet the Beta's in acknowldgement of his presence. It pissed him off that Chogan and Indris both knew exactly what their now-deep conversation was about, and Taigi didn't. They had a connection that didn't include the boy. Like Taigi's own with Green - except that thanks to Quicksilver and The Demon Spawn, that hadn't been fairing too well lately at all. Wait - the new pups - was that what they were talking about? Listening further, Taigi's fears were confirmed. Then Indris went on to explain that he knew how they felt about their parents. "I never really knew my birth-parents, you know. I left them, so it wasn’t quite the same, but… I came out alright, didn’t I?"
So he left them? Taigi's respect for his hero suddenly began to dwindle. How could he waste such a precious thing? Anger bubbled inside him like over-cooked soup, but he was too tired to really shout. "But you'll never know, Nindee! Not if you lefted them. How could yous just waste a Mama an' Dad like that?" His eyes were full of water again as he looked away as Indris finished off with a warm, knowing speech that Taigi couldn't help but agreee with - not that he showed it or anything. But he just needed to confirm it... "They're here then? Them?" He said with distaste. If only someone understood...
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This post has been edited by Taigi on Aug. 03, 2006 - 4:08pm
Gorgeous "bright eyes" avatar from Em/Shingle! <3
Ay-to-thuh-may-zee-ing table from Woovis/Green! <3
WLC JANUARY - 158
 Thanks to Li for THIS unbelieveable creation!
See more HERE.
HEY, NICE CASTLE!
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Indris
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Right, I replied again just to be sure of the new posting order: Indris, Chogan, Taigi. Hopefully we can wrap this up quickly, guys, since it’s looking a little stale. :P
If anything in the world hurts more than grief, it is guilt. And, hearing Taigi’s small voice grow with disbelief and pain as he made his presence known—hearing him call Indris out for what he had done as a child—was almost enough to kill him. Instantly, as if to prove his culpability, he pulled back from Chogan to allow his sibling room to lie between them. How in god’s name had he overlooked the boy? This sort of thing always happened to him. He always felt like he got more from Chogan than from his brother, that he saw Taigi less, that Taigi cared for him less… Indris felt caught in an unintentional game of favorites, and it hurt him a little more each time he came around the den and saw the children waiting for them. He was a bad father. He’d been a terrible son to his birth-parents and now he was a shitty father, too. “They… They weren’t wasted, Taigi. I… I’ve got a brother and they took real good care of him. They just didn’t need me.” That wasn’t the truth but close enough, and as the tears glistened in those forlorn eyes Indy though wretchedly, I’m sorry, dammit. But you’ve have done the same thing in my place… He could only pray he wasn’t lying again.
A quiet moment passed—time enough for Taigi to approach him or shun him as the need applied—and then the fateful question dropped into his ears like icewater, freezing notions of whatever he might’ve thought to say next. “Yes,” was all the inky wolf could mutter at first. “They were born today. Three of them. Two boys and a girl.” Certainly the details were not important to the Citali boys, but each fact helped to ground Indris in the situation. It reminded him that they were not “up against” faceless foes who had stolen the crown away from his sons. This arrival had sparked no war. No battles had to be waged. Life simply had to continue. And that was the hard part.
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woovis=teh bestest.
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Chogan
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...omg, I had no idea you'd replied to this, Sarah. x_x Or I did and I forgot. Sorry! This'll be my last post. I'm really getting into emo-Chogan at the moment. D: It'd be such a waste not to put some effort into this here thread. We seriously need a brotherly love thread, Sarah.
Glad for the offer of physical contact and a few kind words, Chogan folded his hind legs in and shuffled to let Indris take up the spot next to him. After seeing the Field alphas lavishing their newborns with affection, he was only too happy to receive the gentle nudge, returning the gesture by finding space between his guardian's chest and forelegs where he could warm his muzzle and listen to the strong, steady rhythm of the kindest heart he knew. Understanding words fell on him like rain against the stale surface of White Rose Lake when denied its regular refill – the therapeutic smattering of diving droplets, a voice without words because none were needed to put the message across. The youth pressed himself against the warm, solid form and allowed himself to drown.
But Taigi's sharp, spiteful voice cut through the pleasant lull. Indris moved, and Chogan nearly fell over sideways, but caught himself in time to flash his argumentative brother a disdainful glare. The words were childish, unnecessary – cutting. They made him furious.
”They were cute.” he began, his voice a rumble. Enough was enough. ”Lonan, Bhreac, 'n Mathias. They not done nothin' to you, Taigi. Green an' Quicksilver's their mom and dad, not ours, they 'llowed to be happy too. Just 'cause we...'cause you aren't.” Denying those newborns the right to a full and happy life would hardly undo the injustice placed upon the princes of a lost land. Bubbling with rage and fearing that it would soon turn to tears, he scrambled to his feet, ready to leave if the need presented itself. ”They're not comin' back. Okay? Not, comin', back – ever,” He felt his throat start to constrict. ”An' where you get off tellin' Nindie he made a mis'ake, huh? You's an exper' now 'cause bad stuff happen to you an' only you are right? Maybe he gotta better reason!” Tears were streaming down his face, and words became hard to pronounce. Slowly, he backed out of the den. ”We're LUCKY Nindie's here. Y'should say thank you and jus'....jus'....grow up.” By this stage, his breath was coming in shuddering gasps, and his amber eyes were leaking, glassy pools. ”I'm going,” he whispered, looking between them both. Then he was gone, leaving nothing but dust and bitter words hanging in the air where he had been.
This post has been edited by Chogan on Aug. 24, 2006 - 5:33pm
JANUARY WLC START: 307
STRAWBERRY FIELDS MOTM SET BY MEHITABEL <3
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Taigi
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Out of Character
Sorry, I was on absence! And I'm happy to wrap it up here if you want. Nicole, would it be possible to have a paw-healing thread please? It's not healing and it might bond them more.
Back in Character
Taigi looked the other way as Indris made his pathetic excuses. The boy didn't want to here it. It stung enough that Taigi had no parents and was replaced himself overnight, he didn't need anymore grief from knowing that Indris was a traitor too, to his own family. The family he didn't have himself. Chogans words sliced the air though, with the names and details of the new arrivals. Taigi turned his head to observe his brother as his voice got angrier and more desperate. The Gamma pup did not slide in where room was made, even though Chogan had stumbled for it. Taigi didn't need them, and they didn't want him.
Heat rose in his throat as it constricted, tears threatening to mirror image Chogans own as they clouded his view. How could this be happening? His own brother, the only thing he had left, was trying desperately to convince him that their parents were never coming home. How could Chogan be so faithless? Pure shock and raw pain was displayed on the others face, eyes brimming over. Yet they turned hard as the words changed to defence for Indris. "They ARE comin' back!" He screamed in protest. "An' yous knows Nindee better, but yous don't knows why he lefts! Why does wha' HE did even MATTER?"
Chogan was gone, but Taigi wasn't finished. "We's not LUCKY he's here! Nindee is jus' another REPLACEMENT!" The boy rang off, crawling into a dark corner of the den, his only retreat. Another replacement. Another replacement to try and glue together his broken world.
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table by Ambition/Desi
Gorgeous "bright eyes" avatar from Em/Shingle! <3
Ay-to-thuh-may-zee-ing table from Woovis/Green! <3
WLC JANUARY - 158
Thanks to Li for THIS unbelieveable creation!
See more HERE.
HEY, NICE CASTLE!
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Indris
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Yeah, I like the idea of another bonding thread. I’ll just wrap this one up and then start another one later on.
He felt Chogan against him, seeping into him almost. Loves filtered to each wolf as though through osmosis, and however brief the sensation; it helped both the emo-kid and his protégé in ways indescribable to those who have not been comforted from great loss. He had pulled away guiltily, scalded by the words of a child, only to let shock register across his face when the harsh voice of another raked at his accuser. Chogan’s maturity—and on a deeper level, his anger—startled the older male, and he could only watch, numbed by helplessness and self-pity, as one Citali boy snarled at the other, ending the exchange rather dramatically. Short-term memory of those tear-glossed eyes haunted the charcoaled teenager, and when at last he turned to Taigi it was with resignation in his eyes. What could he do with them?
The second of Midas’ sons had reacted without forgiveness to his explanation, though how could Indris have expected such? He had neglected Taigi, hurt him as everyone else had, and now he had to face the consequences. It was as simple as that, wasn’t it? Wretched in his failure, the post-yearling fought to gain some sense of self-worth and deal with the situation while he still could. Tears welled in those green eyes, so like those of the brother who wore them in gold, and the wolf caught in the middle nearly unraveled in the face of such raw pain. He did not flinch as Taigi berated him—he deserved it, and he hadn’t the heart to defend himself now—and could only regard the youth miserably over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” the Beta said (not for the first time in his life) and crawled toward the mouth of the den, with its false light and empty promises of release. He would not chase after Chogan. He would not coax Taigi into an apology. Instead the blue-eyed wolf lay down in the doorway and turned on his side, his back to the door. Eventually they would return to him. Eventually everything would return to a façade of normalcy. Eventually…
woovis=teh bestest.
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